Scatter Shooting

While on my way back and from getting cigarettes I had time to think, as generally is the case, much like when Im on the shitter, or mowing the lawn or sitting in a doctors office, both the latter never happen often if ever. Be it as it may I had time on my hands, and as I am the kinda guy that never really shuts the fuck up, I was still talking, only mentally. To the point or at least one of them.
I got to thinking, there are two types of guys in this world. One, the lady magnet, much like Sean Connery, a mans man, and almost anyone would sleep with him, even straight men. Second, the men that dont have a chance in hell of being lady magnets. I think I fall in the first catergory, if I just shaped up took better care of me I could have almost anyone I wanted, good thing I already have her huh. As for the non-lady magnets, I want to say they generally have back hair. While waiting in line I was behind a man that had backhair that looks like he skinned a damn ferret and slapped him on his back. If the man ever goes bald... hes got it made.

I also kind of realised that since I never shut the fuck up, that comedy is a defence mechanism, and an entertainment option for me, I love to laugh, and make other people laugh. The one thing that I enjoy most in this world, that even sits further up the chain that photography and masturbation, is making my girl friend laugh. If I can get her damn near to the point of pissin her pants, my day is great. There is something in the saying laughter is the best medicine. I havent seen a doctor in years. Wonder if they still have my records... been so long I kind of doubt it. Basically saying, if you have a chance to laugh at anything, do it. Even if its yourself. Which brings me to a little story. I will make it short, I was drunk, the storm glass door was cleaned really really good and I ran into it and bounced off it like a racketball on concrete. Still makes me smile and laugh thinking about it.

What the hell is with the trend of diet foods, every food under the sun is now made to have a diet counterpart. People are afraid to be fat or something. I wish I kind of has more meat on my bone when winter shows its ugly face, I freeze so bad its not even funny. I get cold and have to put on a sweater when the temp gets around 20°C. And the diet pill commercials are about to drive me up the fucking wall, "Are you blah blah blah" No... Now get off my fucking screen. Or the energy pills. Just as annoying. They need that much energy, drink a Jolt Cola. Fuck all the pill stuff.

Heres a little speculation for ya, in Harry Potters last adventure... Harry and that bitch friend of his gets the ax, so all thats left is the nerdy red head dude. J. K. Rowlings axs the two strongest charactures. Hows that for a not so ironic plot twist. Ive been killing off lead charactures in stories for years. God I hate that writer, she makes a mockrey of Pagan ideals. But at least I wont have to deal with any more Potter fans for much longer... come on year 2007! I wonder how many kids are going to cry at the end of the book, like snotty nose and sucking up boogers, the whole nine yards? Will I read the book, nah, if I hang around anywhere long enough I will hear the whole story anyway, kind of works out for the best in the end, I dont have to pay money and I still hear the story, kinda like pirated music.

I wonder what I will thinking about next.